


Three for the Price of One

by Ursula



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Domestic Discipline, Episode Related, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-24
Updated: 2004-06-24
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:16:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: Joy. The war is over. Walter Skinner has married his beloved, Kim. There is a cure for the nanobytes, but Alex Krycek knew a secret that could make the cure fatal for Walter. Now only Alex Krycek can save Walter. One woman will do anything to save her husband . . . even if it means ascending the highest mountain to bring back a man thought dead.





	1. Climb the Highest Mountain

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Disclaimers: All characters are based on those of Chris Carter only I care about what happens to them. 

 

Notes: For K-2's birthday Kim, Krycek, and Skinner. This was written for K-2, Kristen, and is based on her stories of Walter Skinner, Alex Krycek, and Kim Cook. However, this is not part of her universe. Kristen, poor thing, has belatedly beta read her own birthday story as it was posted raw on the day. 

 

Warnings: Heterosexual relationship warning if you're a slasher, Slash warning if you only read heterosexual relationships, and a big hug if you read both. Angst. 

 

 

Time Frame: After Season eight, disregards Season nine 

 

"I had a bad day at work today," Kim said to her husband. His silence was her companion. She was used to his quietude. He was a silent man by nature, stoic, kind, and strong. 

 

"Kersh blamed me for his assistant's failure to send the memo to staff. I don't know how he gets off, saying it's my fault. It wasn't my job even though I usually end up covering for her. Poor Matilda is about ready to have a nervous breakdown. My nightmare after you left was that I would be assigned to him directly. I'd as soon work in a shark pool." 

 

Sunlight danced across the room, lighting Walter's features with a healthy glow. Kim said, "I saw Mulder yesterday. He said to give you his best." 

 

Kim stroked Walter's forehead. Without his glasses, he looked younger and innocent. His face was slack in sleep... 

 

Tears finally flowed as Kim saw an eyelash flutter. Every time, Walter's eyes opened, she told herself that he was waking. It never happened. Sighing, she checked his charts to make sure that his limbs were being flexed and massaged. She still turned him in his trusses herself to be sure. She had fought his transfer to this long-term care facility for weeks, but she had lost the battle. It was the best nursing home that she could find. She had asked Scully to go undercover to make sure that none of the aides were even verbally abusive. If her husband could hear, she didn't want him to ever hear a staff member refer to him as a vegetable. He wasn't one. His brain waves remained active. His electroencephalogram read as if he was in a perpetual dream state. 

 

Before leaving, Kim kissed Walter's sleeping face again and turned on the CD player she had placed in the room. Walter's beloved Credence Clearwater Revival played steadily. Kim stood in the doorway for long moments before her shoulders slumped with the burden of her care and she left to rejoin a world so much bleaker without her husband. 

 

As she entered the house that seemed too big for her, the phone was ringing. She picked it up. 

 

"It's me, Mulder," the voice said. 

 

"Hi, Mulder," Kim said. "I just returned from seeing Walter." 

 

"Yeah, well, I have some news that might mean you won't have many more of those visits to make," Mulder said. 

 

"You found someone who knows how to cure Walter?" Kim asked. 

 

"I think so," Mulder said, "I have a feeling Alex Krycek could." 

 

"Alex is dead," Kim said flatly. "Walter killed him." 

 

Mulder didn't cue into her response. He sounded excited and pleased with himself. He said, "A long time ago, I set up a 'missing person' search for Krycek. I wasn't satisfied with the bureau's methods. This service is private, discreet, and effective. Expensive as hell also. I didn't really expect them to come through and then I forgot about it after Krycek was killed. I just received a call from them. They spotted a man who they say may be Krycek." 

 

Kim dropped the phone as her legs buckled. She caught herself on the wall and slid down it until she sat on the floor. Finally, she reached for the phone and was surprised that she could force out a sound. "Mulder, you can't be serious. It must be a mistake. It must be someone who just looks like Krycek." 

 

"I can't be one hundred percent sure, but they e-mailed me a picture. It sure in hell looks like my late and unlamented partner," Mulder said. "There's one picture that shows him without his prosthesis. A doppelganger, I'd buy, but not one with the exact injury that Krycek had." 

 

"How could this be?" Kim asked. She didn't want to think about the arm. Her mind shied away from imagining the handsome young man that she had known struggling with such a disability. 

 

"Kim, didn't you ever look at my reports?" Mulder said. 

 

'Just when I wanted to have a laugh with the other clerks,' Kim thought. 

 

Out loud, she said, "Sometimes, Walter had me type them over." 

 

Mulder's voice sounded strange. He said, "Yeah, well, I thought I found my sister a few times. It wasn't her. It was always a clone, not even human." Mulder's voice fell a note and became rough. He cleared his throat and continued, "One time however, Scully and I discovered exact genetic copies of a woman. Forget Dolly the sheep. These men were so far ahead of the mainstream scientists that they made them look like Stone Age shamans." 

 

"This is so crazy," Kim said. "How can I believe something so incredible?" 

 

"Sometimes when all the rational methods have failed, there's only hope. Odd as it may seem, I think I can get Alex to help Walter. He's the only one left that knows about the nanocytes. I'll bring him back here if that's him." 

 

"No," Kim said, "Give me the information. He'll run from you. He won't run from me." 

 

"I didn't know you knew him that well," Mulder said. 

 

"I knew him," Kim said. "He won't hurt me." 

 

There was a brief silence. Kim could almost hear the wheels turning in that magnificent mind of Mulder's. 

 

"Kim, don't count on a previous relationship with Krycek as protection," Mulder said. 

 

"He won't hurt me," Kim repeated. "Mulder, I can't trust you to get the information I need. You and Alex...well, there is so much history." 

 

"Maybe," Mulder conceded. "You know? I don't think Walter would have ever pulled the trigger if he thought that that was really Alex in the garage. As many times as I threatened to kill Alex myself, there was always something stopping me. Walter felt the same. I know he never really gave up on Alex. I think we both hoped that he would eventually come down on the right side." 

 

Kim doubted that Mulder was right about Walter sensing that the man he killed wasn't Alex. Mulder hadn't seen her husband afterward. 

 

Taking a deep breath and a giant leap of faith, Kim said, "Give me the information and I'll contact him." 

 

"Kim, at least let me get someone to go with you. Frohike, maybe," Mulder said. 

 

"Okay," Kim agreed. "I'm going to resign, Mulder. I don't want anyone asking where I am when I'm gone." 

 

OooOooO

 

As soon as Mulder hung up, Kim turned on her computer and typed her resignation letter, alluding to her husband's health and the need to be with him. She didn't bother to give the traditional two weeks notice. She had at least that much leave stored despite the time she had taken when Walter first collapsed. She would go in tomorrow and teach someone the essentials of her job. After that, they were on their own. After Walter announced their marriage and she had to transfer out of his section, the job no longer meant that much to her anyway. 

 

Eyes brimming with tears that seemed to press forward relentlessly, Kim went to the huge bed. Curled on Walter's side of the bed, her mind was filled with visions of a few years back. 

 

It wasn't Walter at first who woke her to the sensual side of her being. 

 

How could she not notice the young agent who had the building buzzing? Kim often told the other clerical staff that people ought to pay for the privilege of working at the Hoover. She had never worked in a building with so many attractive men in her life. 

 

When Agents Krycek and Mulder walked through the building eyes turned...when Walter stretched and his white dress shirt strained across that massive chest, eyes popped. Walter never seemed to notice how often a smiling woman dropped something when talking to him or the silent glances that admired his tight rear when he stooped to pick it up. 

 

Kim had been above such behavior, but that didn't mean she didn't notice. However, he was her supervisor and she assumed that he would never chance so much as a cup of coffee in the cafeteria with her. 

 

Alex, though...Alex was not her supervisor. His glances at her on the rare occasions that he visited AD Skinner's office seemed interested. 

 

One noon, Kim had surprised herself by sitting down next to Alex. She had an excuse. The cafeteria was crowded and no one she knew had a free space at his or her table. She said, "Is this seat taken?" 

 

"No, Mulder was supposed to eat lunch with me, but he seems to have forgotten," Agent Krycek said. "Kim, isn't it?" 

 

Krycek had one hell of a sexy voice. You couldn't hear it without think of some big cat purring. Her name left his lips like a caress and Kim felt the blush rise on her fair skin. 

 

"AD Skinner's office assistant," Alex said. "What's that like?" 

 

"He's the best," Kim said. "He expects hard work and he's a perfectionist, but he knows how to say thank you. I like him." 

 

"A lot of people say he scares the hell out of them, but even Mulder seems to respect him," Krycek said. 

 

Taking a sip from his chocolate milk, Krycek looked up at her. She had thought he had brown eyes, but they were a mossy, changeable green. Framing those eyes were heavy lashes so black that Kim thought they looked as if he wore mascara. He was fascinating, feral, not what he seemed at all. 

 

Kim was honest enough to admit that she was glad to be asked out. He was a great date, intensely focused on her. She knew he was interested, but he didn't paw her nor did he dissemble about being interested sexually. Kim wouldn't jump into bed with someone on the first date. She wasn't someone who jumped into anything. 

 

Kim had worked hard to get her bachelor's degree and even if she had to quit before she could complete her MBA, she was proud of her achievement. Her sisters and brothers had all dropped out of high school. Her parents only had completed sixth grade. Kim had endured a lot of teasing about being the runt of the family, little bookish creature. It had taken her ages to even realize she was pretty. All of her sisters were beautiful girls and she looked plain beside them. Sometimes, Kim had thought her parents would confess they had found her on their doorstep. 

 

In any event, as an adult, she felt that she had achieved something. She was proud of working for the FBI and proud of having become an executive assistant at her age. She was the youngest executive secretary in the Hoover just as AD Skinner was the youngest FBI assistant director. That wasn't a menial job. You had to be the best to achieve that as well as passing a national security clearance. 

 

However, Alex made her feel something that she had only ever felt for her boss. She couldn't have Walter Skinner, she thought, but she could have Alex Krycek. She wanted him and he wanted her. 

 

Both of them knew when it was the night. When they went to Kim's apartment after dinner, they devoured each other. Their hands mapped secret trails under each other's clothing. Their scent mingled wonderfully and Kim felt as if she had marked Alex as her own. 

 

After Alex unzipped the back, Kim helped him lower her dress, feeling wonderfully wanton with her sexy new bra and underwear. She had never splurged on anything like the silken bra and matching panty. God knows what her mother would say. She had always equipped her girls with packages of plain white briefs from the Sears Surplus stores. The day the discount warehouse closed was like a funeral around Kim's home. You would have thought Mom's best friend had died. 

 

Alex was breathing very quickly and his eyes were so intense that they seemed to glow. His hands paused. He looked upset. 

 

Kim said, "Alex, what's wrong?" 

 

The first thing that occurred to her was to glance at his left hand for the telltale line of white where a wedding ring belonged. There was none. 

 

Still... 

 

"You're not going to tell me that you're engaged or married, are you?" Kim asked. 

 

Alex said, "Kim, I think I should tell you that I've been with men." 

 

Talk about putting a damper on things... 

 

"What do you mean, Alex?" Kim asked. "Are you gay? Then why are you with me?" 

 

Fighting the urge to scream at him and throw him out, she calmed herself and asked, "Am I just protective coloring because you work for the bureau?" She felt horrible. All of her new found confidence was on the floor. 

 

"No!" Alex said, his voice breaking in a rasp. "Hell, no, I love the way you make me feel. It's not as if I don't like women, I just...well, I'm attracted to men too. I've been that way since my first wet dream." 

 

Eyes peering soulfully at her, Alex said, "I've been tested and I am very careful. I just didn't want to have you find out afterward. Oh, shit...Kim, this isn't how I wanted to tell you. I wanted tonight to just be about us, but...this is a part of who I am, and I want you to know that part of me, too. I don't want to keep secrets from you." 

 

Kim believed him. As he stared at her as if waiting a sentence in court, her heart went out to him. It was easy to kiss him. Easier to be kissed back and it happened as perfectly as she hoped. 

 

After Kim accustomed herself to the idea, she felt like some mysterious and sophisticated woman. She had never been knowingly with a man who so much as admitted experimenting. It was erotic in a way. Kim hadn't a lot of experience, but Alex seemed different to her, more playful about sex and open to foreplay. He was also the first lover she had who was also a friend. They even talked about men they both liked sexually. 

 

Alex thought Mulder was sex on two legs. Kim thought he was a jackass. Mulder gave her Walter, as she liked to think of the AD, headaches. 

 

However, Walter Skinner... 

 

Alex had batted his eyelashes and said, "I bet we could have him." 

 

Blushing fiercely at the mental image, Kim had said, "AD Skinner? Alex, he's not like that..." 

 

"Takes one to know one. You watch him around me. He looks at my ass all the time," Alex said. "I was in the gym the other day and he checked me out in the shower." 

 

Kim had playfully slapped Alex's bare butt and that had led to the fascinating discovery that Alex liked to be spanked. So they forgot about AD Skinner for that weekend. 

 

But they didn't forget about him for long. 

 

When Alex came home from a conference that he attended and at which AD Skinner was a speaker, he looked both guilty and pleased. He said, "Did you know that Walter is getting a divorce? His wife told him she was filing as he was packing for the conference. He drinks too much when he has serious woman problems. I had to rescue him from a fluttering pack of twinks at this gay bar." 

 

"What's a twink? And, Alex, you said you said that you had buddies if you felt the need to sleep with...screw a man," Kim said, blushing. Alex had been trying to teach her to talk dirty to him, and it didn't feel natural yet. 

 

More seriously, Kim added, imagining the worst, "What was with the bar? Were you going to pick someone up? That's not in the picture!" 

 

"I was meeting an old friend and I wasn't going to sleep with him, Kim. We were out for a few drinks and that's all," Alex said. "Then I spotted Walter and shit, I couldn't let him be picked up by any of those powder puff boys!" 

 

"I guess," Kim said reluctantly. 

 

"So, I took him to my friend's house and I decided a shower would help sober him up. I was thinking about his reputation. The town was full of FBI agents," Alex said. His look of virtue made Kim laugh despite herself. 

 

"And?" Kim said, running a finger from Alex's throat down his chest. 

 

"And a gentleman wouldn't tell more," Alex said. "But I was right about him. He knew I was a guy. Kim, you know what I think?" 

 

"I think you think with this," Kim said, patting the head in Alex's trousers. 

 

"I think we should seduce him," Alex said, "Both of us. He wants to see me again. I want to if...I don't want to hurt you, but Kim, I really feel something for him." 

 

It wasn't easy, but Kim accepted that Alex had needs she couldn't fill. He also had needs that Walter Skinner couldn't fill. Kim knew that was true. When Alex was with her, he was hers. If it had been someone else, someone other than Walter, she might have been jealous. Well, she was envious and if she weren't such a chicken shit, she admitted to herself that she would love to see if Alex was right about being able to seduce Walter Skinner as a team. 

 

It did her heart good to see AD Skinner come to work happy and leave at a reasonable hour. Alex still spent most of the weekends with her. Sensing some trace of Walter on him made making love to Alex all the more exciting. 

 

"I told him," Alex said one Saturday. 

 

"About us?" Kim said. "Oh, Alex...I don't want to confuse him or hurt him. He's in love with you." 

 

"I think he's curious. I said we would all talk and see if it would work," Alex said. 

 

OooOooO

 

The first date was full of long silences and Alex had to keep making them look at each other and talk to each other instead of focusing on him. It would have been more difficult without Alex's charms. He could persuade Kim that it was right. 

 

"Take what you want, just take it, Kim," Alex had said. "Look at her, Walter. Come on, I've seen the way you look at her in the office. You got to have seen her looking back. You want her, she wants you, and I want you both." 

 

Oh, there were times when it made life difficult. She worried that her face would show too much when she looked at Walter or Alex in public. 

 

Walter, dear man, felt so guilty that he sometimes talked about ending the affair, but he always changed his mind. 

 

It seemed to Kim that something so beautiful had to be right. Alex said that rules were made to be broken. Walter said nothing, but the way he looked at them, the way he touched them, said everything. 

 

It was the most wonderful and exciting thing to ever happen in Kim's life. It made her wonder if she was fundamentally different inside from other women that she could so enjoy watching two men, her lovers, make love. 

 

So Alex said that everybody was fundamentally different inside from everyone else and fundamentally the same. If people just accepted that, they would all feel better. 

 

Everyone said that Kim was glowing in those days. Maybe they noticed that her boss also seemed happy. Any conclusions weren't voiced. They would have been wrong by a third in any case. 

 

Alex used to say that a triangle was one of the most solid forms in nature. He had words for everything, her Alex. 

 

For everything except "I lied about who I am. I'm sorry and goodbye." 

 

One day, Agent Mulder charged past her to talk to Walter. By the end of that day, her world was in shambles. Alex was gone; his apartment as clean as if he had never been there. 

 

Kim had gone to Walter's and he had met her at his door with the words, "I can't. Kim, he's going to blackmail us." 

 

No words left...no love left. 

 

OooOooO

 

Alex had never used it against them. Sharon Skinner had reappeared in Walter's life and made her exit. Later, Kim, of course, heard about what happened with that...that...woman! Right, Walter was afraid to touch her, but some whore was acceptable. 

 

Kim had been so worried and so angry with Walter. Although she had never liked the way Mulder brought so much worry and trouble into Walter's life, she liked that he had believed and supported him through those terrible days. 

 

Afterward, Kim wanted to go to Walter. She needed to comfort him, but he seemed so distant. All she could do was make sure he ate, try to get to him to work less, and to go home. 

 

Then came the day Kim found Walter asleep in his office. It was seven in the morning. She knew he had never gone home. 

 

Waking him, Kim said, "You can't keep doing this. You can't punish yourself forever." 

 

Looking at her with eyes red and weary, Walter had said, "You punish me then." 

 

Kim had locked the door and said, "I will." 

 

It hurt her hand more than it hurt Walter's ass. In fact, as she tried to get his belt open and his zipper down, the corner of his lip pulled up in the nearest thing to a smile that she had seen in ages on that handsome face. 

 

Dutifully, Walter had tried to fit over her lap and even ventured an "ow" or two. 

 

At five o'clock, Kim had showed Walter his clear calendar and said, "You need to go home." 

 

There had been an expression on Walter's face that hurt Kim to see. So much pain. He had held out his hand. Her hand was so small it was buried in the slab of flesh and muscle. 

 

"I don't want to be alone, Kim," Walter had said. 

 

"You never had to be," Kim said. They had gone to her apartment. He didn't want the memories at his. 

 

They had laughed together and cried together, never saying the name of the third part of them. 

 

It had been easy enough to pretend that it had never been Walter, Alex, and Kim. Easy, even though both of them sometimes felt in the dark for Alex's long, lean body pressing close to them, trying to hold on tightly to them as if he always knew he wouldn't have them for long. 

 

OooOooO

 

Sorrow became anger over the years as Kim heard what havoc her lover created. It could never be hate though. Sometimes, she thought that she knew what Walter was thinking when he would stand on the balcony, looking endlessly into the night. He said that he hated Alex and never wanted to hear his name, but sometimes he woke murmuring it in the most caressing tones. 

 

The day after Alex died, Walter came to her and cried. And made her use his belt on him until she thought that she would never be able to look at one again. 

 

Kim had wanted to bury Alex, but there was no way to have the body released to her. She couldn't stand the thought of him lying in some freezer like a side of beef. Walter did it somehow. Alex only had three mourners at his funeral: Kim, Walter, and to Kim's surprise, Mulder. 

 

Dead and buried... 

 

It was time to move on with her life, Kim knew. Walter proposed. He needed her so much and she loved him. They needed each other and, if there was a silent emptiness in their hearts that the most intensely alive person whom either had ever met had filled, well, that was never spoken. 

 

Kim had transferred and they had courted openly. Let people talk about when the relationship might really have started. Kim didn't care. They couldn't prove a thing. She had her wedding and her honeymoon. Her mother cried and Walter's mother looked relieved. And they went on with their lives. 

 

OooOooO 

 

The thing that hurt was that Walter was fine. The nanocytes weren't causing him any problems physically. It was the idea that someone had the palm pilot, programmed to control the nanocytes and him, which caused him torment. He said it was living with a sword over his head. 

 

Mulder brought back the cure like a conquering hero. Scully worked with the team that tested the biochemical components that would destroy the nanocytes. 

 

It worked in the lab animals. It even worked for the pitiful human test subjects that Mulder found huddled in cages in a Consortium lab. 

 

So why did Walter wake up from the procedure, clutch his head, and have a seizure? It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. They were supposed to live happily ever after. Some fairy tale! Now, Walter was her sleeping beauty... 

 

OooOooO

 

"You sure that you don't want me to come with you?" Mulder said. 

 

"No, Mulder, Alex would run from you," Kim said. 

 

"You can't be sure of that," Mulder said, "We had our peculiar relationship." 

 

"I can't take the chance. Alex is the only one who knows why a procedure that worked on everyone else failed Walter," Kim said. 

 

"It was a stroke. Scully said that the medical evidence can't even explain why it didn't blow years ago," Mulder said. 

 

"But it didn't," Kim said. She frowned, thinking. "Mulder, could the nanocytes have actually kept the stroke from happening? Because, if that's true, we did this to Walter by injecting him with that formula." 

 

There was a look on Mulder's face, which indicated that idea had already crossed his mind. He said, "Whatever happened, Kim, we meant to do the right thing. Walter was the one who wanted to be rid of the nanocytes." 

 

Mulder cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked Kim's face with his thumb. He said, "I hope you're right." 

 

"What do you mean?" Kim asked. 

 

"I hope Alex loves you and I hope he loves Walter enough to help him," Mulder said. 

 

"Who told you?" Kim asked, thinking that perhaps Alex had said something at some desperate moment in his life to Mulder. 

 

"You did, Kim, and perhaps, even Walter did," Mulder said. "I'm spooky Mulder, you know." 

 

OooOooO

 

"What in hell is Krycek doing on K2?" Frohike said, as he trudged beside Kim. They had been training for a month just to be allowed to go to base camp. 

 

"You're the one that told me that Alex was working as expedition planner," Kim replied. 

 

"Yes, I know that," Frohike said, brushing at the high altitude mask covering his face with his gloved hand. "You ever notice your nose itches the worst when you can't scratch it?" 

 

"Yes, Frohike, I've noticed," Kim said absently. She leaned her head back to view the awesome height of K2 in the distance. 

 

"What I meant was what brought him to K2? What's he's doing isn't dangerous, but it's also not comfortable. I don't understand it," Frohike said. "The guy lived most of his life like a human cannonball. Why would he choose to camp out in some God forsaken place and crap in the cold? Excuse the language, Kim." 

 

"Alex always said that he believed that God was more likely to hear you from the high places on Earth. He always said that if he ever had the freedom to do so that he would go on a spirit quest to a high peak and find his soul," Kim said. 

 

They were still on the road to Askole, a tiny village where people often camped before starting the walk toward Paju. Onward from there, they would go to Baltoro Glacier where the climb started. 

 

Alex was at the lower camp where sixteen expeditions were supporting climbs at various stages up the mountain. His job was to coordinate supplies and make sure that crucial materials were not blocked from the camp. Frohike said that people thought he was the best at his job that they had ever seen. Alex knew just the right combination of bribery and intimidation. He was effective and almost uncanny about anticipating what was needed by the expeditions. 

 

Frohike said that most people assumed that the arm had been lost in a climbing accident. It gave Krycek a tragic mystique and fended off unwanted questions. 

 

That gave Kim pause. She hadn't seen Alex since he left. In her mind, he was the same slightly coltish beauty that had disappeared from her life. It was hard to imagine her lover scarred and desecrated in such a way. 

 

Reminding herself that this was about her husband and not the lover they once shared, Kim stared at the mountain and her heart uttered a silent prayer. 

 

OooOooO

 

"Gawwwwd," Frohike said, swinging his arms widely. "I love the smell of testosterone in the morning." 

 

Frohike's eyes raked over a tall blond woman who walked lithely by him. She caught his gaze and flipped him off as she humped her heavy pack up the trail. "Even the women reek of it," he added. 

 

Kim stopped a short dark man and said, "Where is Reilly?" 

 

"Big sky blue tent," the man said, his English thick with accent. 

 

Making her way through the bustle of petitioners, Kim was unnoticed by her former lover. He looked happily intense. Alex dearly loved to be in the middle of things so this was a natural atmosphere for him. He had a headphone over his head, his left arm cradled a clipboard, and his right hand waved a pen as he gestured to a skinny gofer to bring him something. 

 

Alex's instincts were dulled, Kim thought. She used to tease him about being so jumpy when they were together. Finally, it made sense when she realized that she had fallen in love with a man who never was. Alex had been a man who had to remain alert or die. 

 

Kim was reaching to touch him before he sensed her presence and turned. His look of recognition was clear. She said, "Alex, he needs you." 

 

"My name is Reilly, lady," Alex replied. 

 

"I need you," Kim continued. The truth of that took them both by surprise. "I won't leave until you help me, Alex, so you may as well listen to what I have to say." 

 

His mouth opened again as if to argue, but instead he took off the headphones, handed them to an Asian woman, and said, "Take over for me, Charlie." 

 

The woman looked at Kim and scowled. "You okay, Walter?" 

 

Shooting Kim a quick look to gauge her reaction to the first name that he had chosen, Alex stretched and then said, "Yeah, fine, Charlie. She's an old friend." 

 

OooOooO

 

Going outside, Alex spotted Frohike lurking and sighed. He shook his head and a flicker of a smile crossed his face. He said, "Well, I don't have to ask how you found me. Damn, I thought I stayed in the background during that photo shoot." 

 

Alex led her into a tent that was more like a small cabin. He shoved a folding chair toward her and said, "Okay, you're here. Tell me about it. You're supposed to be happy. I'm out of your life. You have Walter. Yeah, I heard he finally married you. About time, the bastard." 

 

"Walter's dying," Kim said. She took a deep breath. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry. "Mulder found the cure for the nanocytes and Scully used it on Walter." 

 

"Fuck," Alex said, "That was so fucking stupid. They were harmless. I had the controls for them. Why can't Mulder ever leave anything alone?" 

 

"Walter was the one spurring him on," Kim said. "He was always afraid that someday he would feel that agony again and his new master would step out of the shadows. After you died...Alex, how could you do that to him?" 

 

"How could he do that to me?" Alex returned. "It was supposed to be Mulder." He stood up, agitated, and went to a thermal carafe. "You want some tea?" he asked. 

 

"Yes," Kim replied, needing anything that would help her stop looking at him and remembering. The eyes were the same and the hair was still that vibrant brown. His face was different, harder, still beautiful, but the almost girlish prettiness was gone forever. His face was rounder and his body had filled out to more solid lines. 

 

"It was nice of you to bury my clone," Alex said, unknowingly confirming Mulder's theory. 

 

"Walter's the one that pulled strings to get the body released to us. How did you think he would feel, having to live with your death on his conscience?" Kim said. 

 

"Relieved," Alex said, "I thought he would feel safe and stop worrying about the nanocytes. If he had left them alone, he would be fine. How bad of a stroke was it?" 

 

Her suspicions confirmed, Kim put the cup of tea down on a crate table with shaking fingers. She said, "He had a seizure moments after the nanocytes were deactivated, went into a coma, and hasn't come out of it. Alex, you knew he was going to have a stroke?" 

 

Alex grimaced at the news. "Yeah, when they were talking about candidates for the experiment, one of the doctors said Walter was at risk for a cerebral aneurysm. They said he could die if the nanocytes were used on him. I kept digging for more information; his medical records confirmed Walter could have a stroke at any time. Then I found out that the team who helped develop the nanocytes thought that they were developing a weapon against strokes and heart attacks. The nanocytes could be programmed to keep the aneurysm from happening. I knew Walter would never choose the nanocytes over death if he had a choice. I made it for him." He added under his breath, "Made it for both of you." 

 

"If you had just told someone not to remove the nanocytes..." Kim said. 

 

"Who would believe me?" Alex said. "Besides, I thought the rebels took care of that research facility. I didn't think the nanocytes could be deactivated without the palm pilot. Kim, do you know if any live samples might have been saved?" 

 

"Yes, but when Scully injected them into Walter, nothing happened," Kim said. 

 

"They have to be programmed specifically for him," Alex said. "Shit, I guess I have to go back with you. I could show Frohike, but the Lone Gunmen can't protect the palm pilot and neither can Mulder." 

 

OooOooO

 

All the preparation in the world couldn't get you ready to climb even to the base camp at Gondogoro. Kim was sweating in her mountain climbing gear. She was surprised at how well Frohike did. He didn't look as if he was in shape, but he had a burro-like endurance and the agility of a goat. By the end of the first day, Kim had dubbed Frohike her Lancelot, her ill-made knight. 

 

Alex wryly said, "Frohike may have the looks, but I have the history. Obviously, since you two insist upon going with me to fetch the palm pilot." 

 

"Alex, it's not that I don't trust you," Kim said, "But I've come this far and I can't just passively wait. Besides, I want to see the place you found your soul." 

 

His eyes were soft as the haze of green far below. Alex said, "You remember me saying that?" 

 

"I never forgot anything you said," Kim replied. 

 

Alex dropped his gaze and then almost shyly raised it again to meet hers. A quirk of a smile crossed his face. His hand moved toward her as if to touch her and then dropped to his side. 

 

Looking into the distance, Alex said, "It's not far now." 

 

Alex's long stride outdistanced Kim's, but she didn't worry. She didn't think he could run anymore. Not from her. 

 

Catching up when Alex paused at the top of a draw, Frohike and Kim stood beside him, staring at a narrow opening in the mountainside. 

 

"Why did you stash the control up here?" Frohike asked. "Why not keep it with you?" 

 

"Even here at the end of the world, things can happen," Alex said. "I made more than my share of enemies in the world. Someday one of them will catch up to me for real. The place where I left the palm pilot is a shrine. No climber or guide would ever disturb anything left there." 

 

OooOooO

 

It was a cathedral of ice, a marvel of nature that made flying buttress and Gothic arches pale in comparison. The impromptu altar was a welter of objects from Tibetan prayer rugs to pictures of lost climbers and rosary beads. Alex's offering was in the form of Russian nesting dolls. They must have been made just for this. The first was a reasonable likeness of Walter, within was a doll of Kim, and lastly Alex had his own wooden image, green eyes gazing from the bland face and tiny devil's horns curving over the forehead. 

 

"Oh, Alex," Kim reproved, "You're not a devil." 

 

"I call them as I see them," Alex said. He fitted the dolls back together after removing the waterproofed case for the palm pilot. He looked about him, at the rise of white, pure and fierce, that defined the eternal cave of ice. "I always wanted to go climbing with Walter." 

 

"We can," Kim said. 

 

"Right. When I wake him up, he's going to finish the job. I'm fresh out of clones, Kim," Alex replied. 

 

"If you think there was nothing left, you should have seen him afterwards," Kim said. 

 

The disbelief was plain on Alex's face. He shook his head and said, "Let's go. Whatever happens, happens." 

 

OooOooO

 

The smoky smell of Lapsang Souchong tea still permeated their clothing on the plane along with a faint ozone odor as if they carried the pure thin atmosphere of the mountain with them. 

 

Even Frohike was lost in thought. Kim had never seen the point in climbing a mountain. There were challenges enough in life without looking for them. She was sure of that point until she stood with Alex's arm around her shoulders, staring up at the snow clad peak of K2. As far as they were from the summit, they were near enough heaven to feel the brush of angel's wings. Kim had never felt so close to God and to the earth. Her only regret was that Walter wasn't there with them to see it. 

 

Mulder met them at the airport. Alex flinched back from him, but Mulder smiled at him with the crooked expression that made most of the bureau women's hearts flutter. 

 

"Truce?" Mulder asked. "You save Walter's ass and we're square. I mean it." 

 

So maybe Mulder wasn't a jackass, Kim thought. 

 

"Yeah," Alex said, "Fine, Mulder. Can we go now?" 

 

Kim grew frantic as Mulder filled her in on Walter's deteriorating condition. He said, out of Alex's hearing range, that Walter had stopped breathing. Only Scully's adamant refusal to honor Walter's 'death with dignity' instructions forced the staff to resuscitate him. Even so, he needed to have mechanical support or his body forgot to breathe at intervals. 

 

When Alex entered the room and saw Walter with the tubes violating him, strung from wires like a puppet, and mouth distorted by the apparatus that kept him breathing, his knees buckled. He would have fallen if Mulder hadn't caught him. Mulder said, "Keep your shit together, Alex. You have a job to do." 

 

"Shut the fuck up, Mulder," Alex replied, but his expression was grateful as he glanced at Mulder briefly before taking out the palm pilot. He asked Scully, "Are the nanocytes active?" 

 

"Yes, there seemed to be no point in taking them out," Scully said. "We didn't want to risk another stroke." 

 

"Good," Alex said. He frowned as he sat down next to the bed to work. Whatever he was doing, it wasn't easy. His forehead beaded with sweat and he swore under his breath constantly. 

 

It took four hours before Alex stood up and said, "That's it. It will either work or not. There's a lot of damage." 

 

Stepping closer to the bed, Alex reached forward and stroked Walter's hand. "Old man, you better be in there. I'm going to whip your ass if you cuckold Kim with Lady Morte." 

 

As Alex stepped away, he rubbed at his eyes and said, "I need to get some sleep. If I have to try again, I'm not up to it. I'm going to find a motel." 

 

Shaking her head, Kim said, "No, you can go to our house. Frohike can drive you. Alex...thank you." 

 

His eyes on the wracked figure of his former love, her husband, Alex said in a rough voice, "You should wait and see if there's anything for which to thank me." 

 

She didn't give a damn who was watching. Kim pulled Alex's head down to her level and kissed him on the lips. His eyes fluttered closed and he waited, still as a deer caught in headlights. She couldn't resist kissing each eyelid and running her fingers through his shorn hair. If he stayed, she would make him grow it longer or Walter would. Walter liked to hold onto Alex's hair. 

 

Wishes...fairy tales come to life. 

 

Kim fiercely said, "Don't you dare try to leave here without telling him you're back and that you love him. Don't you dare try to leave without kissing him!" 

 

Her glare at Mulder and Scully challenged them to object. Scully's eyes were aglow with interest. Mulder's eyes had a depth of compassion as strongly expressed as all of his other feelings. 

 

Alex took a deep breath. He stepped over to the bed and moved aside some of the tubes to be able to kiss Walter as near his mouth as intubations would permit. His fingers softly stroked the cheek. Kim's eyes saw the monitor readings jump for a moment. Walter might have been responding to the programmed nanocytes. Might have been. 

 

OooOooO

 

Somehow, Kim expected that her husband's recovery would be instant. Instead, it was twenty-four hours without any breathing problems. He was able to breathe on his own when they weaned him off the respirator. His eyes remained open a minute and actually focused on her later that day. By the second day, he was awake for an hour at a time. Walter smiled at Kim and squeezed her hand back in the afternoon. 

 

On the third day, Walter motioned for her to come close and whispered, "Go home. Rest. Order." 

 

Not that she intended to obey, but she nodded yes. When Walter woke again, he asked, "Is Krycek still here?" 

 

"I think so," Kim said. Alex hadn't come back to the hospital, but Frohike and Mulder were taking turns keeping an eye on him, telling him that he had to stay in case the nanocytes stopped doing their job. 

 

"Don't let him leave," Walter said. "Make him...come to see me." 

 

"I will," Kim said. And there was nothing on heaven and earth that could stop her from keeping her promise, least of all the flawed diamond they both loved. 

 

OooOooO 

 

"How is he?" Alex asked as soon as she walked in the kitchen. "If you're home, he's stable. Right?" 

 

"Yes, he's even talking now. They moved him out of critical care to a private room. They think it's a miracle," Kim said. 

 

"The nanocytes might not be able to repair all of the damage," Alex warned. 

 

Frohike had been on watch. He would have made someone one hell of a good wife. One of Kim's aprons was around his waist. He was stirring a pot of chicken stew, a bowl of dough for dumplings next to the stove. 

 

"Byers said that there is no way in hell that the nanocytes should have been able to repair the damage as much as they have already," Frohike remarked. 

 

"Then what do you think did it? Faith?" Alex said scornfully. 

 

"I've been around enough strange stuff to accept that I'll never be able to explain it all," Frohike said. 

 

Alex laughed harshly. He said, "Save it for Mulder. I don't believe that anything intervenes for us." 

 

"Seems as if they have for Kim," Frohike observed. 

 

Alex's eyes gathered Kim inside. He seemed to be saying something with his gaze, but Kim wasn't sure what. 

 

"Walter wants to see you," Kim said. "I promised that I would take a nap and then we'll go back together." 

 

"Sure," Alex said easily. 

 

Too easily, Kim thought. She grabbed his arm and said, "You look tired too. Come on. We'll lie down together. I need someone to hold onto." 

 

"Kim," Alex protested. "Haven't I hurt him enough?" 

 

"Yes, Alex, you have," Kim said. "So stay. He wants you back. So do I." 

 

Her force of will dragged Alex with her to the bedroom. His long body cupped hers with room to spare. His hand stroked her hair as her sobs shook her. She knew she was rubbing tears and snot on his shirt. Kim had never managed to cry like a movie heroine. Her eyes got red and her cheeks grew blotchy. Her nose ran until she looked as pathetic as she felt. Maybe that was why Walter and Alex tried so hard not to make her cry. 

 

Alex felt the same as he had. His heartbeat was familiar. The only way she could feel safer than she did sleeping with the lion was if their Walter was with them. 

 

OooOooO

 

She knew he was gone from the bed before she woke. Kim was cold and there was that empty feeling. Barely stopping to splash some water on her face and smooth her snarled hair with a quick hand, Kim went to the kitchen. "Where's Alex?" 

 

Frohike said, "Huh? Krycek? He was with you. Oh, shit...the window!" 

 

"How long was I asleep?" Kim asked. 'How far had he gotten', she might have added. 

 

Grabbing her keys, she said, "I have to find him. I have to stop him." 

 

Charging out the door, Kim almost slammed into Mulder, who had Alex snagged by his jacket collar. "Missing something?" Mulder inquired. 

 

"Mulder, for God's sake, I was trying to do the fucking right thing for once," Alex said, struggling to free himself. 

 

"You know, Alex, you should stick to things you do well," Mulder said. "You're one hell of a good double agent, give or take a few sides. You make a great cup of coffee and I always admired your ability with a computer. Doing the right thing, however, is way out of your league. I think you should ask Kim what the right thing is." 

 

"Mulder," Alex whined, but he wasn't fighting very hard as Mulder hauled his ass through the door and straight to the bedroom. Mulder shoved Alex on the bed and said, "Kim, call me if you need me. I smell Frohike's famous chicken stew and I'm hungry." 

 

As an after thought, Mulder tossed Kim Walter's belt. "He had this. If I may make a suggestion, use it." 

 

The door shut and left Kim to confront her former lover. He sat on the bed, head hanging, lip jutting, and tear-spiked eyelashes lowered. "I thought you were an intelligent man," Kim said. 

 

"I am," Alex replied. "You can't expect Walter to forgive me. How can you forgive me? Do you know what I did to him? Didn't he tell you how I gloated? I turned Walter inside out. He was fighting to survive and fighting to protect you. There was nothing I didn't use against him." 

 

"Nothing? Really? Did they know that we were involved?" Kim asked, determined to make him see what she saw. "Those men you worked for? Did you tell them about us?" 

 

"No," Alex admitted. His brow furrowed and he looked away, his right hand coming to cup the weight of his left. 

 

"Would Walter have died if you hadn't infected him with the nanocytes?" she continued. 

 

"I don't know. I thought so," Alex said. "I made my choices and I won't pretend that they were all for any kind of noble reasons. That's why I was on that mountain. I had to face myself in the naked light of reality. What better place than as close to the sun as you can get without flying? I don't like who I am, Kim. How can you?" 

 

The belt was still in her hands. Kim held it to her cheek. It was as strong and flexible as its owner. She said, "I don't know how I can like you after all you have done, but Alex, I still love you. He still loves you. You can run and you can hide, but you can't hide from that truth. Because Alex, there are a few things in the world that are true." 

 

"Yeah, you are truth," Alex said. "My crazy Kim, who charged across the world and half way up a mountain to save the man she loved." 

 

"The men I love," Kim said. "Alex, you think that you are punishing yourself by leaving, but that's not true. You are hurting us again, Walter and myself. We lost you twice so far. Not again, Alex, please not again." 

 

Alex wiped at his cheeks angrily and said, "You can't give me absolution, Kim." 

 

"I can give you punishment if that's what you need," Kim said. 

 

Alex inhaled sharply. His hand brushed back his hair as he tossed his head like a colt fighting the bridle. 

 

Standing to come closer to her, Alex said, "I'm trusting you then, Kim." His right hand lifted to caress her cheek, the first time since she had found him that he initiated contact with her. "Mulder might be right. I've never been good at understanding the rules. You show me. You teach me. I haven't believed in much of anything, but I can believe in you." 

 

He was naked before her. Totally naked in every sense of the word. His scarred body was presented without his glamour and without defense. His shoulders slumped with the burden that his life had become. Alex shed his armor of indifference and mockery and nothing was left but a beautiful, soul-weary man. 

 

Kim had to kiss the small of his back before she marred the smooth marble of his skin. He was a gladiator fallen before her. His one remaining hand clutched a fold of blanket. His body was tense with anticipation of pain and release. 

 

Kim prayed that she could give Alex what he needed. She never liked to inflict pain, but even as a small girl, her brothers knew that she was the one that could get the splinter out, wash their scrapes without hesitation, and who would never laugh at them if they cried. 

 

Sometimes, you can't heal without more pain. 

 

The belt came down and Kim saw the fiery line of red mark Alex's pale flesh. He quivered and gasped. She hadn't realized how strong she had become physically from lifting Walter's unconscious weight and from preparing to make the climb to base camp at K2. Biting at her lip to keep the sob inside, Kim said, "No more running, Alex. No more lies." 

 

"Yes," Alex said raggedly as the belt fell again. 

 

Her arm was getting sore as the belt fell four more times. Kim whispered, "I can't do this." 

 

"Yes, you can," Alex said firmly. "I need this, Kim. You always were the strong one." 

 

His flesh was raw and painful to behold. His body was covered with sweat as was hers. It was not beautiful. It was agony, baptism in flames. It took everything that Kim had and more to wring the sobs from Alex. He was as strong as scar tissue. His life had left him encased in a hard shell of misery. She was a Job's garment wearing away the detritus so he could heal. 

 

When she finished, she lay down with him and wept. Kim said, "I don't want to be the strong one anymore, Alex. Walter is going to need a lot of help to recover. Please, Alex, he needs more than I have. Please stay." 

 

"If he wants me..." Alex said. 

 

Kim said, "I know he does." 

 

She considered it progress when Alex didn't question whether she wanted him, too. He already knew in his heart the truth. 

 

OooOooO

 

It took half an hour to pull themselves together. When they walked out, Mulder smirked at Alex and asked, "Do you feel better?" 

 

Alex grasped Kim's hand firmly and said, "Like a new man." 

 

Mulder grinned and said, "Better not be the same way you meant that the last time you said that. Sit down and eat, Kim. Grab a bowl, Alex." 

 

Spooky Mulder didn't need to use too many extra senses to know that Alex wouldn't be interested in sitting down. 

 

OooOooO

 

The room emptied when Alex and Kim arrived. Walter was awake, looking gray-faced and haggard from his long illness, but the light was back in his brown eyes. 

 

"So you stayed, Alex," Walter said. 

 

"I was persuaded to stay," Alex said. He kept his distance, his hands in plain sight as if he was afraid that Walter would relapse if he made a sudden move. 

 

"We have a lot to talk about," Walter said. 

 

"I know," Alex said. 

 

"Come here," Walter commanded. 

 

Alex straightened his shoulders and walked forward as if playing the lead about to face a firing squad in a film noir movie. 

 

Walter's hand, still punctured with an IV tube, explored Alex's face thoroughly. "It's really you." 

 

"I would think Mulder gave you the results of the blood test and retina scan," Alex said, "The man doesn't trust anyone anymore." 

 

"Yeah, wonder why?" Walter said. His hand slid around Alex's neck and drew him closer. "There's one test I hope he didn't run." 

 

"What?" Alex said, his voice ending in an undignified squeak. 

 

"This," Walter said, his lips ravaging Alex's until the monitors flashed like lightening and a nurse rushed into the room so quickly that she nearly knocked Kim down. 

 

Kim said, "It's okay, nurse. Walter's fine." 

 

The nurse's mouth looked as if someone needed to snap it shut for her. Flustered, she said, "Tell him that he shouldn't over-stimulate himself." 

 

"I will," Kim said, a giggle shaking her shoulders. 

 

The nurse backed out of the room. Kim knew she would be telling this story for weeks at the nurse's station. 

 

"You come here now," Walter said to Kim, pulling at Alex until he sat on the bed. 

 

"So I hear you've been climbing mountains and fighting dragons for me?" Walter said, when Kim was as close to him and Alex on the narrow bed as she could get. 

 

"I did what I had to, Walter," Kim said. 

 

"I don't have a problem with it," Walter said, "I just wanted to know. Is this the part where we live happily ever after?" 

 

Taking both of her lover's hands, Kim smiled at them and said, "I think so. If I have anything to say about it." 

 

"Then it will happen," Alex said. "Because if I were a mountain, I'd get out of her way." 

 

Her ill-made knight and her perfect king looked at Kim and she felt for once that she was the heroine of her own books. She liked the way that this one ended. 

 

The End


	2. Dreams Come Three

Dreams Come Three

by Ursula

 

For Dark Cherry, Elaine, who embraced Climb the Highest Mountain against both of our expectations.

 

Series/Sequel: Is this story part of a series: Sequel to Climb the Highest Mountain

 

 

Disclaimers: X Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013, Fox TV et al.

 

Notes: Star Me Kitten lyric: Dreams come three for the price of one

 

This story continues from Climb the Highest Mountain in which Kim Cook goes to K-2 to bring back her former lover, the man with whom she shared her husband, Walter Skinner. Walter, cured of the nanocytes, collapses into a coma from a stroke. The nanocytes can restore him to health, but no one knows how to reactivate them but Alex Krycek, a man Walter believes he killed. Walter waked like Sleeping Beauty and greets Alex as his Prince Charming, but life is not like a fairy tale. After the wakening kiss, there is a long road to travel before happiness.

 

Warnings: Slash, discipline, a male, male, and female relationship

 

"Hold tight," Alex's rough voice coaxed. "Come on, you can do it."

 

Walter's right hand gripped tightly around the soft skin of Kim's arm. He was still surprised to feel the strong muscle beneath her silken flesh. His left hand held even harder to Alex's corded steel right arm, Alex's only arm.

 

Slowly, shockingly, Walter rose to a sitting position. His wife and his...lover weren't helping him at all. They anchored him, but he had lifted himself.

 

For a dizzy moment, Walter held up, mind rushing with delight. He laughed out loud between panting breaths.

 

"Knew you could do it," Alex said.

 

Kim's blue eyes radiated her faith. Walter let go. He swayed but continued to sit up on his own. Carefully, he raised his hand to Kim's neck, drew her close, kissed her plump mouth, sweet as a ripe cherry. He felt the warmth of her tears on his face. Cheek to cheek, he closed his eyes, thanking God that he had this brave bit of a woman.

 

Alex started to pull away. Walter said, "No."

 

His right hand brought Alex close as Walter leaned into Kim's support. His thumb stroked the sharp line of Alex's cheek as his palm framed his lover's face. Alex turned his head, kissed Walter's hand, eyelashes fluttering down to shield those speaking eyes.

 

Feeling shaky, Walter lowered himself back to his bed. Kim tugged back the covers completely. Alex gently unbuttoned Walter's pajama top. The touch and the intimacy of this act stirred his cock to life. Alex's fingers trailed down Walter's shoulders as he slid the top off. Kim tugged down the bottoms until Walter lay exposed in the warm room.

 

"That Marma stuff again?" Walter remarked.

 

"That Marma stuff kept you from losing muscle mass to a point that surprised the doctors," Kim remarked somewhat tartly.

 

"I wasn't saying anything," Walter said.

 

"Better not," Alex advised, with a wry twist of his own incongruously sweet mouth. "She spanks."

 

As Kim's familiar touch sought out the points of his body, Walter closed his eyes. His hand quested and found Alex's to curl loosely around it. Occasionally, Kim's manipulations were painful. He could feel life surging through him. God, he was getting an erection. He moved on the bed, reached for Kim. She slapped his hand and said, "When I'm done, if you're good."

 

Opening one eye, Walter said, "How good do I have to be to get blown?"

 

"Very," Kim said.

 

Alex smirked, but his gaze fastened on Walter's groin.

 

"Then I want it from both of you," Walter bargained.

 

"Oh, we are ambitious," Kim teased.

 

"Taking turns," Walter said, "like we used to do."

 

Ah, Alex's eyes flinched from that and his hand nearly pulled away.

 

"Are you sure?" Alex asked.

 

"Sure of what? That I can finish?" Walter replied, knowing that wasn't what Alex meant. "I think I can and I can enjoy trying even if I can't."

 

A sideswipe of a smile edged across Alex's face.

 

"One thing you shouldn't doubt," Walter said, as Kim's hands circled the knot of muscles over his shoulders. "I never stopped wanting you, Alex, even when I hated your guts and hated myself for my desire."

 

The hand clasped in Walter's tried to pull away.

 

"Don't run, Alex," Kim chided, her knowledge of both of her husband and her lover preternatural. "You promised."

 

"I did, didn't I?" Alex said. He settled.

 

The stimulating massage sent life surging through Walter. The gray weight of hopelessness seemed to lift from him with Kim's touch.

 

"Time to turn over," Kim said.

 

"Okay," Walter agreed. He knew Alex was doing most of the lifting, but this time, he was helping not just pulling himself up on Alex's arm. He grunted as he sank back to the bed, this time face down. Kim continued to work. Walter believed that her hands if not her method was magic.

 

Alex said, "If you wanted to know, you still have the most beautiful ass I've ever seen."

 

"Glad it meets with your approval," Walter said. It was worth the trouble to angle his head around so he could spy on Alex.

 

The expression on Alex's face is sensual, soft. There was a sharp edge of lust beneath the dreamy eyed daze.

 

"God, I want you," Alex said.

 

Walter wondered about that. He had told his wife and his lover to sleep together, but something told him that they hadn't obeyed. His Alex had always seemed so ready, so randy. It was difficult to imagine him abstaining.

 

"I want you too, Alex," Walter said. "I can't wait to go home to be myself again. I hate this place. I hate the constant poking and prodding. I hate never having time to myself."

 

"Yeah, I hate hospitals too," Alex agreed. "It won't be long now before you are up out of that bed. The doctors keep saying you're a living X File."

 

"God," Walter groaned.

 

Kim asked, "Did I hurt you?"

 

"No, of course not," Walter replied. "It's that X-File thing. I swear to God it's a bigger fad than hula hoops were."

 

A giggle escaped Kim and she said, "Hula hoops?"

 

"Yeah, hula hoops, they were a fad when I was a kid. Everyone had one or wanted one," Walter said.

 

"You had a hula hoop?" Kim asked breathlessly, surprising a chuckle out of Alex.

 

"Yes, where do you think I developed that great hip motion you both like so much?" Walter replied, drawing on a store of pomposity from conversations with Kersh.

 

"Remind me to thank the hula hoop," Kim said.

 

"But my point was that since all that information hit the press, all you hear about is X-Files and Mulder," Walter complained.

 

"Why is it always Mulder?" Alex said with a smirk. His expression changed to a softer smile and he added, "Well, he's happy. I never thought I'd see that day. God knows, he deserves his day in the sun."

 

The thought made Walter tense. Mulder was healthy and so was his libido. He and Alex always had a current between them. What if Mulder moved on that when Walter was still mostly flat on his back?

 

Reading Walter's face, Alex stroked his head and said, "I came back for you, Walter. You and Kim, not for Mulder. You don't have to worry about me and Mulder or anyone else. I'm not a kid anymore. I can wait."

 

"I don't want to wait anymore," Walter said, "Maybe I can't be in you, but I have to have you. It's been too long."

 

Alex slid onto the bed, taking up very little room. Face to face with Walter, his expression was tender. He smelled like Kim. They must have been using the same bath and shampoo products again. That had always turned Walter on. He remembered one time when he had to meet with Mulder and Krycek. Kim, of course, was present to take notes. Every time she passed him, every time Alex had leaned toward him, he could smell the special blend on him, on her. He saw Mulder sniff the air, look from Kim to Alex with speculation and then suddenly at Walter. Damn the man for his insights and bless him for never saying a word about it.

 

"I'm finished," Kim said, slapping Walter's ass cheek.

 

Jumping a little at the friendly smack, Walter gathered his strength and managed to turn over without any help. He grinned in sweaty triumph at his lovers.

 

"Now, do I get my treat?" Walter asked.

 

"I'll bolt the door," Alex said, sliding up to his feet.

 

"Good, because I want to see all of you," Walter said.

 

Maybe Walter was making up for the times that the nursing home staff, kind and professional as they were, had handled his nude body as if he wasn't in it, as if his body was no more than a piece of equipment to maintain. He knew that Kim never had touched him like that, but as much as he enjoyed her massage, a note of uneasiness always crept into his feelings. He had to be real to Kim. She was the only one he had ever let all the way into his heart.

 

"Undress each other for me," Walter suggested.

 

Kim blushed, the color moving from her scarlet cheeks down her neck and to the satin of her chest like the layers of a parfait. Alex's eyes met Walter's, open to him, asking him something.

 

Not sure what Alex wanted, Walter said, "Please, Alex, Kim, do this for me."

 

"You haven't seen me since," Alex reminded.

 

"A work of art's beauty can't be marred by an accidental imperfection," Walter said.

 

Concern faded to relief. Alex and Kim faced each other. She had been wearing a sweater when she came into the room; to work on Walter, she had laid the outer garment aside to reveal the white tee shirt beneath. Alex's hand trembled when he touched her. She didn't hesitate at all as her fingers flew over his button down black shirt.

 

His shirt fell to the floor. Her tee shirt followed. Her full breasts were cupped in a lacy bra. Walter smiled. It took a long time for him to persuade her that expensive pretty underwear wasn't just for first dates. She paused over Alex's belt buckle, smiling over her shoulder at Walter. The pair of them moved in a slow half circle as they pushed off shoes and socks. They had both been wearing black denim. The jeans slid over Kim's short legs and Alex's long ones.

 

They were so beautiful together it hurt. The momentary shock of Alex's maimed arm passed quickly. The rest of him was just as Walter had loved him. Kim's body was soft, feminine, not a scar or a mark on her creamy flesh. Alex was lean and wild, all man. Together...they were perfection, harmony, completion.

 

Kim's kiss was certain. She knew him so well and her kiss was like breathing to Walter; he didn't have to think about how they intermeshed. They just did.

 

Alex's kiss was tentative, an offering he still seemed to think would be rejected. Walter's hand captured his head to keep him close long enough to make it a real kiss.

 

"Mine," Walter murmured against the yielding lips.

 

"Yours," Alex replied, voice quavering as he made his declaration.

 

"Ours," Kim claimed, her arms stretching across both of them.

 

On either side of Walter, Kim and Alex only fit on the bed by draping over him, not a bad thing by any means. Walter petted whatever parts he could reach, patted the two pert behinds lovingly. Kim moved forward to lift his head, her thighs a pillow for him as Alex knelt on the bed, about to worship his cock. Alex's gaze seemed to stroke over Walter. He rose at the thought of what was going to happen. Alex's hand lifted Walter's cock toward his face. He planted a kiss on the tip, teasing the slit with dart of tongue. Walter could feel Alex's smile around the ring of his corona. Alex tongue licked and his lips trailed over the juncture of Walter's cock head. His hand braced Walter's cock, squeezing lightly.

 

When Alex looked up, lips shining, eyes glowing, and met Kim's eyes, Kim slipped away to join him, lowering Walter's head so he could do nothing but lay back and enjoy the attention.

 

His legs spread wide to give them access, Walter felt exposed and vulnerable for a moment, but when they both bent over him, it was everything that he remembered. He shuddered as a lubricated finger probed into him. He recognized Kim's touch. Her hair was soft against his inner thigh, Alex's still too short hair tickled his other side. He felt both of his lover's mouths on him. As he arched up to look, he saw them bump noses, stop, and kiss tentatively. A smile flickered across Alex's face when they parted. Alex bent back over him, his tongue remembering his most sensitive areas. The soles of Walter's feet flattened against the bed as he instinctively pushed toward Alex's retreating mouth.

 

Both Kim and Alex knew when trading places became more of a torment than a delightful tease. Alex took him deep, proving that capacity hadn't diminished. His lover's mouth and throat formed a straight line to admit all of Walter's cock to the root. They found their familiar rhythm, Alex's breaths shuddering in as Walter retreated, his throat accepting, relaxed, utterly trusting Walter not to choke him.

 

When his brain stopped bursting into fireworks, Walter stroked Alex's hair. It was hard to catch his breath and he was exhausted, not enough strength left to do anything more than move his fingers gently over Alex's head. He had felt Alex swallow and it seemed to him almost a sacred rite, as if deep inside, he was again part of his lover. All three of them rested on the bed; Kim snuggled into Walter's side.

 

"I can't wait until you come home," Kim said. "We're going to have everything just the way we dreamed about it being."

 

"I hope so," Walter replied. He yawned, unable to keep his eyes open much longer.

 

A moment later, Alex slipped off the side of the bed, nearly falling, and jolting Walter into wakefulness. "What happened?"

 

"Started to fall asleep," Alex confessed.

 

"Kim, take this boy home and put him to bed," Walter said.

 

Kim laughed and said, "I think we had better clean you up a little first or the nurses will know exactly what we were doing."

 

"Maybe then they would remember that I'm a man," Walter commented.

 

"I'm sure they noticed," Alex said, patting Walter's groin.

 

Barely aware of his lover's good night kisses, Walter fell asleep smiling.

 

OooOooO

 

"What the hell do you know about this?" Walter snapped. "My legs feel as if they are coming out of their joints."

 

Kim had been dismissed from this therapy. Walter couldn't stand yelling at her, but he didn't mind yelling at Alex.

 

Leaning against the far end of the rail, Alex said, "Yeah, it was easy learning how to do everything one handed. I really only got my arm chopped off to piss off Mulder and after all, I had a spare, didn't I?"

 

Grunting, Walter was pissed off enough to walk the length of the rail to get his hands on Alex. He had just reached his lover when it clicked that he had just walked more steps than he had managed up until now. He hadn't even been aware of the pain only of that hated smirk on Alex's face. He had one hand on the rail and the other on Alex's throat.

 

"Well, you going to choke me?" Alex asked.

 

"No," Walter said, "You manipulative bitch, you did that on purpose."

 

"Yeah," Alex admitted. "I showed you that you could do it. Now, you want to finish me or you want me to help you back to your chair."

 

"I'll finish you all right, but not in any way that we want anyone to see," Walter said. "And I can walk back to my chair."

 

He could. Almost, and Alex was there to catch him before he could fall. Walter wanted to believe that from now, this was the way it would be. He could forget the recent past and pretend the Alex he loved and the one that he hated were separate men.

 

Walter winced. Kim had told him he had to accept everything that Alex was if this was ever going to work. It would be so much easier to send him away. How many times had Alex offered so far? Scully had told him he should take the man at his word. Let Alex go his way to find some new hiding place, to find some new semblance of a life since he would never go back to his Walter O'Reilly identity.

 

To his surprise, Mulder disagreed with his partner. "You love him and he came back from the dead to save you, Walter. I'd say 'forgive'. I spent my entire life ignoring chances for a normal life. Now that I've won, I can't regret what I did, but if someone loved me like that, I'd grab it with both hands."

 

"Your life isn't over," Walter had told his former subordinate.

 

"Neither is yours," Mulder said. "Grab the golden ring, Walter."

 

How appropriate a metaphor...

 

Now that his life was going round and round like a pretty fantasy.

 

As Alex wheeled him to his next appointment, the therapeutic bath that the home allowed Alex to share with him, Walter knew he would never be able to let Alex go. His heart was a traitor that had harbored his lover all of this time, just waiting for a chance to grow again.

 

OooOooO

 

"Where's Alex?" Walter asked, as Kim worked on him.

 

"He promised to help Mulder decode some files he found," Kim said.

 

"They're spending a lot of time together," Walter said.

 

"They have a lot in common and Mulder is finding Alex useful," Kim said calmly. "Alex needs to keep busy."

 

"He could keep busy here," Walter complained.

 

"Walter, you told him to stop hovering around you a week ago," Kim said.

 

"I told you the same thing," Walter admitted.

 

"I gave up listening to you when you try to push me away after I saw how you handled being alone," Kim said, her hands never stopping their work. She moved Walter's legs, flexing them and encouraging him to push back against her surprising strength.

 

"Scully told me the other day that you are taking boxing," Walter said. He smiled, trying to imagine Kim in silk boxing shorts, a guard in her smiling mouth, and a helmet crushing her red waves of hair.

 

"Yes, I went in to pay your dues at the gym and Mickey had an ad up for a women's boxing class. His wife is teaching it," Kim said. "It's cheaper than therapy."

 

"That's what I always said," Walter said. "You paid my annual dues?"

 

"I paid them last year too," Kim said.

 

"Thank you," Walter said. Kim had never stopped hoping and praying for him, not during his long months in coma and not since.

 

"I know that this is hard on you," Walter offered cautiously. "I suppose you think I should tell Alex that I'm sorry."

 

"Do I have to tell you?" Kim asked.

 

"No," Walter admitted.

 

Kim's small hands dug into Walter's muscles, soothing out the knots, sending rushes of energy through him. He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent.

 

"Will you let me see you box when I'm out of here?" Walter asked.

 

Kim laughed.

 

"What?" Walter asked.

 

"Alex asked me the same thing," Kim said. "This isn't mud wrestling, you know. Emma is one of the few competitive female boxers around."

 

Hiding a smile, Walter said, "I'm sorry. It's just hard to imagine."

 

"I'm tougher than you think." Kim said.

 

"That's impossible," Walter replied. "Because I think there are endless depths to your strength."

 

Her kiss gave him a benediction for his earlier frustration.

 

OooOooO

 

Going home...

 

After wishing, hoping, suffering for this day, Walter felt like a gutless wonder. He had ignored the nurse's early morning visit to try to get him ready for discharge. His clothing still sat on the chair where Kim had put it last night. He had risen to relieve his bladder, but hadn't showered.

 

"Walter?" Kim asked. "Did you want help in getting dressed?"

 

"Kim, it's too soon," Walter said. "I think the doctors were right and I need a few more days, maybe even another month."

 

"I see," said Kim.

 

Mulder's voice invaded his space. "Walter, what are you going to say next week? That you need another week? Another month?"

 

"Everyone said I was pushing too hard," Walter ground out between clenched teeth.

 

"Because you wanted to go home," Mulder said. "Change your mind? What would motivate you to get out of that bed? Want me to tell the rat bastard to take a hike?" The voice changed to a sultry husk. "You want me to take him off your hands?"

 

"No!" Walter shouted, sitting up too quickly. He swayed in bed dizzily. When his vision cleared, he saw Mulder's sardonic smile. He'd been had by a pro.

 

"Okay, I'm going," Walter said, slowly swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Making his way to the shower, Walter grabbed his shaving kit. He waved a hand at his suitcase and said, "I won't need anything else out of there."

 

"I'll bring it to the car," Alex said.

 

"Don't skip out on me," Walter said.

 

"I won't. I gave my word. If I leave, I'll tell you I'm going," Alex said.

 

What could Walter say? He knew he was pushing Alex away and pulling him close in close succession. He just hoped he managed to keep from saying words that would send Alex away for good. He promised himself that things would be better when he was well and could make love to Alex the way that he needed to do.

 

OooOooO

 

By the time they reached the house in the suburbs that Walter had bought right after marrying Kim, he was exhausted. It made no sense as all he had done was take a shower, move from the hospital wheelchair to the car, and then walk into the house. He refused to use the wheelchair for the short distance although he allowed himself to lean on Kim.

 

Waking up after his nap, Walter was aware of Kim's copper hair shimmering against a pillow. She was curled up asleep, her arm thrown over him. Where was Alex? Looking around, Walter was aware that there was no trace of his lover in this room. He had just assumed that Kim and Alex had been sharing this bed. The guest room was set up with a double but it was a small room, intended more as a nursery for an infant than a real bedroom. The room intended as a full sized bedroom held Walter's home office.

 

Listening carefully, Walter could hear someone moving around in the kitchen, the soft clatter of utensils and pans barely audible. Alex must have started lunch. Lurching out of bed, Walter found his chair waiting for him. Someone must have been moving like a cat...or a rat to set it up without waking him. Transferring to the chair, Walter pushed it along, glad that the doorways were wide and that this was a rambler style home.

 

Alex was at the stove, stirring noodles into what smelled like Kim's homemade soup base. Walter saw one of Kim's Tupperware containers in the dish drainer. All of the Cook females had a thing about Tupperware. Kim was the only one whose social life didn't revolve around it, but even she couldn't get out of the blackmail orgies called Tupperware parties. Walter personally felt that it was the nearest thing to organized crime that was embraced by suburban females, but he had fond feelings for the stock bases and prepared soup ingredients Kim kept in containers.

 

"So Kim has been domesticating you?" Walter asked.

 

Turning toward him, soup ladle in hand, Alex looked quizzical. He said, "I always knew how to cook. A well-trained secret agent should be able to fit into any background."

 

"You never cooked when we were together," Walter said.

 

"Kim wanted to cook back then; she wasn't brought up to realize men could cook and clean," Alex said. "I think she's learned the truth since she married you. She always says that you spoil her. Besides, lately, she's been so tired I've been doing the cooking."

 

When Alex turned around to tend to his soup preparation, Walter said, "I didn't see any of your things in the bedroom."

 

"Yeah, I took the small bedroom," Alex said.

 

"Leaving Kim to sleep alone?" Walter asked.

 

"I slept with her a few times, when she asked," Alex said. "Just slept, Walter."

 

"I don't think that it will work that way, Alex," Walter said. "It wasn't like that before. It started out being you and Kim. I was the afterthought."

 

"You were never the afterthought," Alex corrected. "You know I was pissed to find out you shoved her away after I left," Alex said. He turned around and added, "I never let them find out about us. I've done some rotten things in my life, but I didn't give that to them."

 

"I know," Walter said, "But at the time, I didn't know what to believe."

 

"It wasn't what I wanted, but I had this idea that I was so smart," Alex admitted. "I thought I could get in there, get the goods on Spender, and get out. I was going to come trotting back into your life with enough information to keep the wolves from our door. Instead, Spender framed me for Bill Mulder's murder. Made damn sure that I could never get Mulder or any of you to listen to me. You don't have to believe any of that. It doesn't matter any more."

 

It made sense to Walter. One of Alex's primary traits was that cocksure self-reliance. He was always so sure that the world was his oyster. Walter had to wonder when Alex finally figured out that he was a game piece not a player.

 

"You're right in one way. It doesn't matter," Walter said.

 

Alex shoved the soup off the burner, scraping it loudly and sloshing some of the contents of the pan onto the pristine stainless steel surface.

 

"Fuck," Alex growled, "Kim will kill me if I scorch any of this onto the burners."

 

Alex's shoulders seemed to jerk with more force than needed to scrub the stove clean.

 

Walter said, "Don't jump to a conclusion, Alex. I didn't say I didn't believe you. I said it didn't matter. I love you. I wanted you back the moment I saw you in my hospital room."

 

"I'm surprised that the shock didn't kill you," Alex said, his motions slowing to a stop. He carefully returned the scrubbing sponge to its place and came to kneel in front of Walter's chair. His head went down. His forehead pressed hard enough to hurt them both against Walter's legs.

 

Walter's hand ruffled Alex's hair, rumpling the cap of mahogany hair and the smoothing it back in place. "We're going to make this work," Walter said. "With everything that's happened, with all the pain, the horror, and the grief we've given each other, there has to be a reason why you were the one who had the key to saving me."

 

"I wouldn't have come back for anyone but you and Kim," Alex said.

 

"I know," Walter said, "And I believe what you said, Alex."

 

Alex's head moved upward. He gazed up at Walter, hands against Walter's knees. "Thank you," he said.

 

Walter traced Alex's face again, his touch feather-light over the pure sharp line of the cheeks, the silly sublime nose, and the soft indentations framing the mouth. He could feel the beginning of whiskers.

 

"You need a shave," Walter said. "Want me to do it?"

 

Eyes uneasy as if Alex thought he might be implying that he was incapable of taking care of his own needs. Walter said, "You always looked so sexy with your face held up to me, your eyes closed, so sweet and trustful."

 

"Haven't had anyone shave me since I was in the hospital...except once in Tunisia. The lice was so bad they shave off everyone's hair, every bit of it," Alex said.

 

So there was another story that remained to be told.

 

Walter said, "The way I imagined this was that we would sleep in one bed."

 

"You've been thinking everything out?" Alex asked. He smiled.

 

"It's what I do," Walter replied.

 

"I guess it is," Alex said.

 

There was a long silence.

 

Walter was starting to wonder if some ancient curse of silence had fallen upon his lover.

 

"I can sleep in your bed now that you're home," Alex said. "Kim and I thought it should wait."

 

"I'm not fragile," Walter said. "You know I always liked thinking about you two together."

 

"But you're married now," Alex said.

 

There were always time that Walter had turned the table on his surprising lover. This seemed like the right moment to exercise that talent.

 

"You want us to marry you too?" Walter said.

 

The quick lift of the eyes followed by Alex scrambling to his feet said that Walter still had his gift.

 

"Walter, you can't..." Alex said.

 

"Maybe not under the law, but the way Kim and I see it, we want you to be our husband," Walter said. "We want to make an honest man out of you."

 

"Mulder would say that would take a lot of doing," Alex replied.

 

"Fuck Mulder," Walter said.

 

"Yeah?" Alex teased.

 

"No," Walter corrected.

 

Alex's kiss was long and deep. They were still kissing when Kim came into the bedroom, wearing one of Walter's old dress shirts, the tails so long on her small body that they reached her calves.

 

Looking up to see Kim smile, Walter said, "I just proposed to our lover."

 

"He won't be able to wear white," Kim replied. She kissed both of them before going to inspect the soup. Sniffing the air, she said, "You must have spilled something on the burner, Alex."

 

"I cleaned it promptly," Alex said, scrunching his nose.

 

"Okay," Kim said. "I was just wondering. It's not as if I was going to spank you for that."

 

"Oh, damn," Alex replied. "That takes the fun out of making a mess."

 

It felt like old times.

 

OooOooO

 

An ache in Walter's legs woke him early. He heard the paper boy outside. He may as well drown his misery in the greater misery of the world. Hopefully, someone had remembered to set up the coffeepot.

 

Glumly, Walter glanced at Alex and Kim. Last night they had made love. He had wanted to top Alex, but his legs had been bothering him. Alex claimed that he had always loved riding Walter's cock the best anyway. He hadn't even bothered to make the lie sound sincere. He'd always preferred being on his back, his legs wrapped around Walter's shoulders.

 

It still had been good, but it could have been better. His legs started to hurt and the pain must have telegraphed as Alex had worked his ass muscles cleverly, spurring Walter to finish before him. It had always made Walter feel good to make Alex come first. Not that Alex was left lacking. Walter had still managed to finish him with his hands.

 

Afterwards, Walter had to ask for his pain medication for the first time in several days. He could tell by the guilty expressions that Kim and Alex would be treating him like rice paper until he could assure them he was healing. He wasn't even sure why his legs always hurt the worst. All of his body had been subjected to the same inactivity so why were his legs the least cooperative part of him?

 

Leaning on the chair, Walter scowled at it. He hated it and chose not to go out except for his doctor's appointments. When he could walk on his own two feet, that would be soon enough. Pushing the chair aside, Walter stiffly walked out of the bedroom. He leaned on the hallway wall as he made his way towards the door.

 

The lawn was white with frost. Alex had sanded the porch and most of the sidewalk but the newspaper boy had managed to miss the porch and the walk. Holding onto the railing, Walter knew he shouldn't trust his still uncertain steps to the wet lawn.

 

Imagining himself having to go back in and wait for one of his lovers to get the paper spurred him to idiocy. He carefully stepped out. It wasn't bad. A step more. That was fine. He leaned stiffly down, feeling a tight spot in his thigh where he had too enthusiastically pushed upward into Alex.

 

The plastic wrapped newspaper in his hand, Walter triumphantly returned to the stairs. Crossing the threshold, he stumbled and fell heavily, letting out a yell. He couldn't get to his feet even when he rolled to the wall and scrabbled up to his knees using it as a crutch.

 

A moment later, Alex had his hand under Walter's shoulder, lifting him. Pain and frustration hit ignition point. His fist rose upward with nearly his old strength and caught Alex on his delicate chin.

 

Walter would have been proud of the strike in the gym. Alex tumbled to the ground, rolling back on ass, legs flying back as if he was trying a backward somersault or as if offering himself to his lover.

 

Regret set in immediately.

 

Looking up at Kim's face, her lips set in a firm line, her blue eyes shaded by her scowl, Walter winced. He said, "Alex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

 

Rubbing his injured chin, Alex said, "I know. I remember the feeling."

 

Son of the bitch had to be so forgiving.

 

Kim said, "Alex, help Walter to our bed. I'm going to get some ice for your jaw."

 

Side by side on the bed, Walter and Alex exchanged glances. "She's pissed," Alex said.

 

"I was able to determine that on my own, Alex," Walter said.

 

"I'm not too happy with you either," Alex commented.

 

"I understand that," Walter said.

 

"Not just because you punched me," Alex said. "What the hell were you thinking? We could have opened the door and found you lying out there with a broken neck."

 

Wincing, Walter pictured just that. It wasn't the way you want to see anyone you love.

 

"I'm just so tired of being like this," Walter said.

 

"You're coming back day by day," Alex said. "You're going to be fine."

 

"I don't feel as if I'm ever going to be fine," Walter said.

 

Sitting down on the bed, Kim handed Alex the ice pack. "Let me look at you, Walter. I want to make sure you didn't hurt yourself."

 

Her hands investigated Walter's knowingly. He closed his eyes. She knew his body as well as he did, perhaps better.

 

"You always did hit harder than Mulder," Alex commented. "I'm going take some aspirin."

 

As Alex slid out of bed, I said, "I wasn't even thinking about who it was. I might have hit anyone who touched me at that point."

 

Green fire glared from Alex's suddenly pale face. He asked, "You might have hit Kim?"

 

Walter wanted to say 'No', but he wasn't sure. He was finished with lies. He said, "I don't know, but I can't say it wasn't possible."

 

"Fuck, if Kim doesn't paddle your ass, I will," Alex said.

 

Walter believed him.

 

By the time that Alex had returned, Kim had gone from worried to angry. She said, "Alex is right. What you did was not reasonable. You didn't even think about anything but proving to yourself that you didn't need us. How dare you?"

 

Walter's eyes dropped before her fiery gaze. He said, "I am sorry and I do understand. I think you need to take my belt to me."

 

"I would," Kim replied, jerking her chin upwards. She stood up, hands in fists at her side. It would have been more impressive if she hadn't been wearing her favorite flannel nightgown with ridiculous kittens playing on a field of lemon colored grass. The ribbon she had used to tie back her hair was hanging crookedly from her mostly escaped ponytail. She blew up at a strand of annoying hair and said, "I would except I'm so mad at you that I can't do it right now."

 

Narrowing her eyes, Kim said, "Alex, you do it."

 

"What? Me? I don't spank Walter," Alex squawked.

 

"What makes me the one?" Kim yelled suddenly. "Do you two think that I like hitting you? Well, I don't."

 

The sob exploded out of her. Her shoulders bowed and she shuddered. Kim fled the room.

 

Caught between his lovers and not in the way he liked, Alex looked from Walter to Kim in confusion.

 

"Better check on her," Walter advised.

 

"You'll stay put?" Alex asked.

 

"I've pulled my stupidity for the week," Walter admitted. "Go take care of Kim."

 

Alex left, but he came back in all too short a time. "She's locked in the guest bathroom and she says she's not coming out until she hears the sound of a spanking in progress.

 

The guest bath was down the hall. Walter winced as he considered how hard a spanking he would have to endure to be heard down the hall.

 

As if prepared to wait forever, Alex sat on the edge of the bed. He started to put on his prosthesis.

 

"You're going to have to do it," Walter said.

 

"I'm not sure if I can," Alex said. "What right do I have to impose discipline on anyone else. How the hell do I know what people should and should not do?"

 

"Alex, knock it off. You won't let anyone cut you any slack because of your arm; so stop waving this supposed moral infirmity around as an excuse. I'm calling you on your shit," Walter said.

 

The flash of anger yielded to resigned amusement. Alex took a deep breath and said, "Okay. Let's do this."

 

Silently Walter and Alex made their preparations. Walter slid back off the sweatpants in which he had slept. Alex finished strapping on his arm and stood holding the belt.

 

Feelings in turmoil, Walter draped across the bed. His senses were so keyed that a wrinkle in the covers felt like a knife blade. Alex's movements telegraphed like thunder. The rasp of denim from the jeans he was wearing, the echo of his footsteps, and finally the snap of the belt as Alex tried its weight assaulted Walter's ears.

 

"Ready?" Alex asked, his voice shuddering even as he forced that one word from his lips.

 

"Do it," Walter said.

 

It was nothing like Kim. Alex did everything to the best of his ability whatever his feelings about his actions. He had always been strong and his right arm was now fiercely so.

 

The strike of the belt was like a flash burn. Walter could feel the welt rise around the strike zone. Alex slammed the belt four more times.

 

"God," Alex gasped. "How can you and Kim do this? It hurts."

 

It hurt Walter like hell, but he knew what Alex meant. A ragged sound heaved from Alex's chest and he managed to strike twice more.

 

Walter felt his lover kneel on the bed. Alex kissed his back between his shoulder blades. "I can't anymore," Alex said.

 

Kim's voice said, "It's all right, Alex. That's enough."

 

The three of them curled around each other. Kim's arms surrounded Walter, her hands stroked over his broad chest.

 

"You think we love you for your beautiful strong body," Kim whispered. "I do love touching you, making love to you, but you don't have to be strong on the outside for me."

 

"I love the way you care about people so deeply. Didn't I see your pain when you worried about Mulder and Scully and your other agents? I love the way you pretend that your kind heart, your loyal soul don't motivate you and that all of your actions are purely professional. I love the way you take care of everybody even when I hate it when you don't take care of yourself. I love your fine precise mind. I love the way you calculate risks and your ability to see beyond black and white. I love you even when you act like an ass, Walter Skinner," Kim said.

 

"What she said," added Alex, his agile tongue failing him for once.

 

More deeply than the words, Walter felt the touch of two people who loved him. They weren't Sharon. They accepted him for all his strengths and weaknesses. They knew him in the clear light of day and the sweet warmth of nights.

 

Walter knew he had a long way to go before his body was healed. There were wounds that still had to mend in his heart, but for now, he was as happy as fate would allow. He had his dreams, a dream that came three for the price of one.

 

The End


	3. Under My Thumb

Under My Thumb

by Ursula

 

 

Notes: Story One was written for Kristen K2, Story Two for Dark Cherry, and Story Three for Kristen again. Dark Cherry beta read this one. 

 

Note 2: for K2's birthday from Ursula 

 

Warnings: Het

 

 

Time Frame: After the series 

 

 

His back ached. His head felt as if it had been ran through the paper shredder and reconstructed with Elmer's glue by a slow kindergartner. Walter pulled his Taurus into the driveway and rested his head on the steering wheel as he tried to shed his work skin for the pleasures of home. 

 

Walter had no plan of admitting that going back to work was not as much of a blessing as he hoped it would be. He called his new secretary by Kim's name five times. The young man was starting to develop a complex about it. 

 

As Walter entered the comfortable rambler that he shared with his wife and their lover, something smelled good. Mulligan stew? Walter's stomach grumbled as he followed the smell to the kitchen. He found a round butt bent over like a present, apron strings dangling untied and framed the well-worn jeans. Walter swatted the offering and rested his hand possessively on the round cheeks. 

 

"Where's Kim? I thought she was done with her classes?" Walter said. 

 

"She should be back soon," Alex said cheerfully. He took the big, golden brown rolls out of the oven. "She has a job interview and was probably caught in traffic." 

 

"A job interview?" Walter said. "Why would she do that?" 

 

"Well, Walter, she graduated from teaching school. The next step is to actually teach, although she said that this is more of a glorified practicum, " Alex said. 

 

"My wife doesn't have to work," Walter said. "I thought she didn't want to go back to work?" 

 

"She didn't want to go back to the Hoover," Alex said. "You know Kim's story as well as I do. She dropped out of teaching school to help support her family. She wanted to be a teacher. Why did you encourage her to go back to school if you didn't want her to work? Who the hell are you? You don't sound like MY Walter Skinner. Female agents fought to get into your area. You were known as tough and fair, a bit old fashioned, but able to send female agents into the field without a qualm. You promoted by merit. No old boy's network for you." 

 

"Hey, I'm not a male chauvinist. I just don't see Kim spending her days at an ill paid job when I would support her," Walter said. "I offered the same thing to you, Alex." 

 

"Yeah, I know, but you know I would be bored as hell," Alex said. "I'm always here when you come home and if you take time off, since I own the business, I can take time off." 

 

"I don't know what is nuttier...you buying the Magic Bullet or the public for making it the hottest newspaper in America. If Frohike buys one more pair of tight leather pants, PETA is going to make him Public Enemy Number One," Walter said. Making fun of the Lone Gunmen was always safe. 

 

"The guys needed someone with a head for business," Alex said, moving to the refrigerator and taking out salad ingredients. 

 

"I suppose," Walter said. "I just can't get used to them being under foot so much. Mulder is around a lot more than he used to be too." 

 

"You like Mulder," Alex pointed out. "He helped us get back together." 

 

"I may like him, but it's still odd to find him here, nearly every night, drinking my beer and eating my chips," Walter said. 

 

"You want me to make him buy the beer and chips?" Alex asked. 

 

Walter merely stared. "It's just that I don't like the way he looks at you." 

 

"He looks at you that way too,' Alex remarked. "But I don't get jealous." 

 

"Why?" Walter asked. "You think I'm too old and set in my ways to stray?" 

 

"Nope, I think you are too damn honest and too much in love to even think about it," Alex said, putting his arm around Walter to pull him close. "Kiss me. I'm the cook," Alex added. 

 

So Walter did. 

 

By the time Kim arrived home; Walter was in a better mood. When he heard her cheerful greeting, he left off his cuddling session with Alex to go into the kitchen to help serve the meal. After the shower that he and Alex had shared, Walter had put on his jeans and a sweatshirt, but his feet were bare. He finally felt as if he was free of the pressure from his work. 

 

Kim stood on her toes to kiss him. She said, "Sorry I was so late. The traffic was miserable." 

 

"You should keep that in mind if they offer you the position," Walter said. 

 

"Well, first time teachers can't be too picky," Kim said. Turning away as if that was all she had to say, Kim pulled Alex's face down to her level to kiss him too and said, "Your dinner smells wonderful. It smells exactly like Walter's recipe." 

 

"I know. I've watched him make it so many times," Alex said. 

 

"Natural born spy," Walter said. Alex winced and Kim shot Walter an irritated glance. "Alex, you know I love you just the way you are," Walter added, not quite an apology. 

 

"Yeah, I know," Alex said. 

 

The three of them sat down to eat. The Mulligan Stew had improved after simmering on the back burner. Alex had followed tradition enough to use yesterday's roast beef and vegetables in the mix. Pagoda noodles, colored richly from spinach, carrots, and corn, mingled with new potatoes to give the stew substance. Alex must have used at least six tomatoes in the mix. He had added a bit more stew meat. Both Walter and he liked beef. 

 

"This is good," Walter mumbled through a big spoonful. 

 

"Yeah, I cooked something," Alex crowed. "I mean something you don't add boiling water to rehydrate." 

 

"It's great," Walter said, "I would have been too tired to cook when I came home from work." 

 

Alex laughed and said, "You had some energy to spare." 

 

"I wondered why you two had the urge to shower before dinner," Kim laughed. 

 

"We missed you," Walter replied. 

 

Shifting in his seat, Walter said, "So did you get the job?" 

 

"I don't know, but the interview went well," Kim said. "They'll probably call you for a reference. I know it's a bit odd, but I used my maiden name for the application. I don't want to be hired as Walter Skinner's wife. I want to be offered the job because of my grades and my student teaching awards. Besides, it wasn't as if we were always lovers. I don't think you looked twice at me for years. I was part of the office." 

 

"Kim, I never thought of you as part of the office furniture," Walter replied. 

 

"Sure, but it wasn't as if sparks were flying from the first," Kim said. "I had to give all my past supervisors and it would be odd to leave out the past seven years." 

 

"I bet they hire you without even calling," Alex said. "If they don't know what an angel you are just from talking to you, they don't deserve you." 

 

"Oh, Alex, you are such a doll!" Kim said. "I could kiss you. In fact I will." 

 

The rest of the evening was perfect. 

 

OooOooO 

 

So why did Walter wake in the middle of the night? 

 

Finding his way to the basement, Walter dug out an old album. Sharon hadn't wanted it. He had tossed it away once, but dug it out before the garbage collector picked up. Sitting with the bare bulb of the light fixture shining harshly on the last remains of his former married life, Walter felt the familiar sense of frustration and helplessness. 

 

When he had come home from Vietnam and entered college, Walter had been happy to leave his teenage and young adult sexual experimentation behind him. He had never thought of himself as gay, just open to possibilities. He had always seen himself as married with a kid or three and a wonderful wife. When he met Sharon and they very quickly became engaged, the rest seemed bound to happen. 

 

Year after year passed, Walter had told Sharon that she should relax. Everyone had babies sooner or later. It was not until the newspapers began to scream about Agent Orange and sterility that Walter had reluctantly agreed to start fertility testing. Hearing he had a low sperm count depressed him, but they didn't say it was impossible. He could adapt to anything, even jerking off in a fertility clinic. The doctors had no explanations why in vitro fertilization didn't take. 

 

Sharon had dragged him to adoption agencies next. Walter was interested. Especially when they mentioned American and Vietnamese kids. He wanted one of those kids. He imagined seeing a lost companion's face in a tiny baby. The thought made him feel weak. 

 

The agency required the family to help at the hospice where the incoming babies were examined and treated before being placed. Walter surprised himself by being a natural with the tiny infants. He fell in love with a particular little girl with big green eyes and reddish brown hair. The staff was even willing to place little Ahn with them despite the fact that there were families before them on the list. 

 

When Ahn went home with them on the first weekend visit, Sharon had thrown up when trying to change her first diaper. She had been nauseated all weekend, then bright eyed on Monday, announced that she was pregnant. Walter had been very surprised, but cheerfully said that they would make up for lost time by having two children at once. His heart had crumpled when Sharon had said that it wouldn't be fair to Ahn. She said that they would always be comparing their biological child with the adopted child. 

 

Walter didn't think so, but what could he say? When they returned Ahn, he saw the barely hidden scorn in the social worker's eyes and felt he and Sharon deserved it. 

 

Sharon had bought maternity clothing, told everyone she was pregnant, and was researching private schools before Walter started to wonder. Finally, he insisted on making the obstetrical appointment for her. The older woman gently explained that it was a false pregnancy. Sharon had dragged him to three doctors before accepting the truth. She was so depressed that she checked into a private clinic for three months. 

 

When Sharon came home, she went back to college and took art history and business. She never mentioned having a baby again and would walk away if anyone mentioned adoption. 

 

Walter always wondered what happened to Ahn? He hoped that the family who adopted her loved her as much as he had. He had been tempted to find out, but he knew that wasn't right. He mourned Ahn as if he had lost his blood daughter. 

 

OooOooO 

 

His marriage had never been the same. He had gladly paid for Sharon's college. He had welcomed her first barely paying job at an art gallery. When she made manager, he bought her an entirely new wardrobe of designer clothing. When she was happy, he was happy. 

 

Gradually, his career led to his present position and her career took off. Sharon had travel. Walter had late nights in the office. 

 

When Spender got his hooks into him, Walter died inside. He couldn't touch Sharon without feeling he tainted her. 

 

Walter wasn't sure who had the first affair. Sharon had the young artist who needed her. "You don't need me, Walter. I need to be needed." 

 

The blond SWAT team leader had seduced Walter when Sharon was off with her artist. 

 

The artist cleaned Sharon's bank account. The pretty and independent police lieutenant wanted Walter to divorce Sharon and marry her. They licked their wounds together and resolved to make it work. 

 

As TS Elliot said, Walter's first marriage ended not with a bang, but a whimper. 

 

The divorce had hurt. Of course, by that time, there had been more separations than reconciliation. When he had both Alex and Kim in his bed, he had been more than willing to sign divorce papers. Sharon had second thoughts. Then Alex was gone. Kim, he shoved away, and Sharon said that he locked her out of his emotional life. 

 

Smiling wryly, Walter closed the photo book. Perhaps he should have shared that he was deep in depression because his male lover had betrayed him and that he was afraid that he would be investigated for having an affair with two of his subordinates. Sharon might have found him more interesting. 

 

OooOooO 

 

As Walter crawled back into bed, Alex snuggled close and asked, "Are you in pain, Walter? I could massage you." 

 

"No, I'm fine," Walter said. "I remembered something I had to do." 

 

"Yeah? Promise you'll let me know something hurts? The doctors said to take it easy," Alex said. 

 

"I know. I came home early, remember?" Walter said. 

 

"How could I forget?" Alex said. 

 

"Don't worry, love, I'm happy," Walter said. 

 

But his mind raced. What if Kim outgrew him as Sharon had? He hadn't thought past her degree. Walter thought she wanted it as part of the things she had meant to accomplish in her life. 

 

Teaching was a demanding profession. Kim was so much younger. What if she met someone else? Some younger male teacher? 

 

Walter turned over and pretended to sleep. He couldn't let it happen. 

 

OooOooO 

 

"Sir, there's a Principal Clark on line one," Walter's office assistant said. 

 

"Thanks, Doug, can you get Agent Mulder's notes on the Church case for me? I'd appreciate it," Walter said. 

 

It was not as if he meant to do it. That was not why he sent Doug down to the basement. 

 

It just happened. Principal Clark had gushed, "I can't believe I'm talking to the Walter Skinner, the man who helped Agent Mulder save the world." 

 

"A lot of people helped," Walter said. "We were only two of them." 

 

"I read Agent Mulder's book," Clark said. "He gives you and that other man a great deal of credit. Alex Krycek...the Russian." 

 

"Well, he was right about Alex," Walter said. "What can I do for you?" 

 

"A teacher named Kim Cook gave you as a reference," Clark said. 

 

"She did?" Walter said. 

 

"Yes, is there a problem? She did work for you?" Clark asked. 

 

"Right up to the time I married her," Walter said. "Didn't she mention that?" 

 

"No," Clark said. "It certainly didn't come up." 

 

"Oh," Walter said. "I suppose I shouldn't have told you if Kim didn't want you to know. She was a great worker, very intelligent." 

 

"I see, but she should have told me," Principal Clark said. 

 

"I suppose, but Kim probably has her reasons," Walter said. She did. She wanted to be hired on her own merit and not because her husband was famous. 

 

OooOooO 

 

That night, Walter came home to a room full of glaring people. Alex, Mulder, and all three Lone Gunmen stared at him. 

 

"Kim is with Scully," Alex said. "She's not coming home tonight. She didn't get the job with the school. They said she was dishonest." 

 

Walter argued, "But she should have told them. You can see that, can't you, Mulder?" 

 

Holding his hands up, Mulder said, "Don't ask me. I got out of the snap judgment business." 

 

"All I want is for my wife to stay home," Walter said. "I don't think that's a lot to ask." 

 

"You didn't ask," Alex said. "I just wanted to be here when you came home. I'm spending the night with the Lone Gunmen. You need to think." 

 

"Go ahead," Walter said, "Show your true colors. Run out on me." 

 

"I'll be back," Alex said, "No matter what Kim decides, but you better persuade her to stay if you have a brain in that bald head." 

 

OooOooO 

 

The first night that Alex and Kim were gone, Walter looked up an old war buddy and they spent the night drunk. 

 

The second night, Walter woke, threw up, and took a long shower. By late afternoon, he sobered up enough to drive to the liquor store. Let them all go to hell. He didn't need them. Besides, they would come crawling back. 

 

Walter cleaned up the place, made the bed, and checked the voice mail. At least, he had remembered to call in both days. Tomorrow, he would go back to work. Tomorrow. 

 

Digging through the huge collection of CDs that the three of them has accumulated, Walter found the one he wanted. 

 

Two Scotches later, Walter sagged in his favorite chair, the one big enough for all three of them to snuggle and roared out the Stone's lyrics. 

 

"Under my thumb, she's the sweetest hmm pet in the world," Walter raucously sang. 

 

Which was when Kim walked in. 

 

"Is that what you really want, Walter?" Kim said. 

 

His mouth gaping, Walter stood up. His heart was pounding. He saw Alex in the doorway, silently supporting Kim. 

 

"You haven't been to work for two days. You didn't answer the phone," Kim said. "We were worried." 

 

Thump. 

 

His knees suffered from the drop. Walter looked up at Kim and over at Alex. "I was wrong. Anything you want. Just don't leave me. Sharon moved away from me. Her career, my career, I don't want to do that again." 

 

"What?" Kim said. 

 

"I thought if you took the job that you would leave," Walter said. 

 

"Oh, Walter," Kim said. "No, I would never do that. I chose you over my career twice over. Once to marry you and the next to take care of you. You can't push me away. You can't make me run away. Even when you act like an ass." 

 

Glancing behind her, Kim said, "Alex pointed out that it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so worried about how good I am as a teacher. If I had enough self confidence to know that, if I was hired, it was because of me, not you." 

 

"I'm sorry,'" Walter said. "I need you both so much. Nothing is more important to me." 

 

"I feel the same," Kim said. 

 

"And I'd sooner have my other arm sawed off with a rusty spoon as to lose my lovers," Alex asserted. 

 

"So what do we do?" Walter said, as Alex turned off the Stones. 

 

"I think you should be punished for what you did," Kim said. "I already made Alex spank me for what I did." 

 

A spanking he could handle. Walter pushed down his jeans, his only garment and upended himself over the hassock. 

 

Kim walked across the room as if her bottom was a little sore and drew a deep breath. Her hand was calloused from her boxing lessons. Her arm was as strong as Alex's. She showed no mercy and no hesitation as she thundered blows down on his ass. 

 

Walter's ass stung. He bit his lip to keep from yelling. Alcohol always sent him a little out of control. Finally, he let himself grunt. 

 

Sharon was never this strong. She was a lovely woman, but it was never like it was with Kim and Alex. She wasn't to blame. Neither was he. They weren't right. 

 

This was right. 

 

This pain was offered to the challenges of miscommunication and fear. Walter felt relief shudder through him. He screwed up as badly as he could possibly have done if he planned it. Kim was still here. Alex was still here. He was still here. None of them had run far. All of them had come back. 

 

Kim didn't ask for tears. She knew when he accepted. They ended on the floor, all three of them, in each other's arms. 

 

A long time later they talked. 

 

Walter hadn't told them about Ahn. He hadn't told them much about Sharon. He didn't want to ask for sympathy. He had thought it was entirely his fault. He was sure he would screw this up as he had Sharon. 

 

That wouldn't happen. Kim wasn't perfect. Alex was like a fractured diamond, full of crazy shattered beauty. Walter was as flawed as Sir Lancelot, but put them together, there was nothing stronger. 

 

As the three sat together, Alex said softly, "There are babies here that need families. Older kids too. I'd kind of like a kid. Between the three of us, there wouldn't ever be need for daycare." 

 

It was an idea. Walter said, "I could retire. I'm good with babies." 

 

"Later," Kim said happily. "I think I want to make love to my husbands." 

 

Kim always had the right idea. 

 

The end


End file.
